Christmas Rush Made Simple

Like you I've been trying to decorate at home for Christmas, shop for the perfect gifts, plan and rehearse for the big show - "Let It Be Christmas" - happening at River City Church next weekend, keep track of all the parties, school concerts and all those other seasonal outings - all the while trying to be a good parent.

Today I woke up and thought about all the stuff I had to do this weekend along with all the places by kids need to be brought (whoever said that a woman's place is in the home is wrong - if my place is in the home, why am I ALWAYS in the car?!?). And I felt...discouraged! How can one person do all of this? How can I possibly get everything done before Christmas? How can I make this the best Christmas ever? There's no way!

All of you out there with toddlers and babies, be patient! Eventually you will experience something like this - my 13 year old son woke me up this morning with a beautiful cup of steaming coffee and shook me out of my "funk." As we were talking over the day's events, he was looking out the window and excitedly announced "It's snowing - Christmas is in the air!" (It never ceases to amaze me how kids of all ages love it when it snows).

We paused to watch the snowflakes drift to the already snow-covered ground and realized what this season truly means. Christmas is not about snow. And it's not about presents and decorations and rushing around, either. Christmas is about slowing down, looking, watching, waiting and being excited about the birth of Jesus.

Well, we couldn't stay "stuck in that moment" for too long. Kids had to go to school. There are birthday parties today. Production rehearsals tonight. And believe it or not, I have to work today! But in that moment, mesmerized by the snow, I found myself relaxing. I felt open to the season, suddenly excited by the wonder of it all. Once again, God had spoken to me, answering the prayer I hadn't realized I had uttered. And quietly, I thanked him.

What's In Your Kids' Top 5?

This past Sunday our older KidCity kids spent some time weighing in on their faves in a bunch of categories. Here's what we found out:

Top 5 Foods - Cantelope, "The Bacon-ator", Pancakes, Home Fries, Strawberries (wow - these kids defy the national stats on being the junk-food-lovin' generation!)

Top 5 Restaurants - King's Buffet, Galtview Restaurant, The Mandarin, Swiss Chalet, Boston Pizza (we were surprised that there was very little "fast-food" on this list - all that money Mcdonald's spends on advertising just isn't enough - read our sarcasm here :-)

Top 5 Toys/Games - Video Games (all kinds), Soccer/Football (tied), Lego, Fur Reals, Littlest Pet Shop (maybe this list helps you with some Christmas shopping questions!)

Top 5 Movies - Indiana Jones (wow - this was true when I was their age!), Over the Hedge, Nightmare Before Christmas, Star Wars (see my Indiana Jones comment), High School Musical

You might be interested and suprised to know your kids' faves in these categories and we hope that it stimulates a lot of good dinner-time conversation with your kids about their choices. We know that as our kids get older, we need to keep on understanding their world and communicate with them about the things they are into. We're just trying to give you greater insight if you were wondering.

We gave the kids one other "Top 5" list to create and it was the Top 5 Things Jesus Has Done For You" - each kid made his/her own list to take home! This is a really important conversation to have with your kids but it may be one that you haven't had before. This list will give you a great place to start. Find out what your kids put on their lists and why they chose those things. The answers you hear and the conversations you have will hopefully be the beginning of many faith-type conversations you have together as a family.

Please feel free to get copies of our family magazine Guess What?! which comes out once a month (new edition available this weekend - Nov 23) and is full of activities for families who want to grow together spiritually. Check out especially the calendar with daily stuff to do together!

And just so you know, working with your kids on Sundays is one of MY "Top 5's!"

The Barack-Attack!

Well, the dust is settling from last week's election in the U.S. and political pundits and coffee-house junkies are all speculating about the popularity of the new president, Barack Obama. Why is he so popular? Why are nations and people around the world celebrating the rise of this leadership star? Why is everyone so hopeful about the future of the US with Barack at the helm?

He seems to be a leader who know what is right for the nation, is committed to doing what's right for the nation and has a style that builds consensus and makes people believe that he has their best interests at heart and in mind. The best we can say right now is, "we'll see." We'll see if Obama can actually do what he says he wants to do. Time will tell.

Time will tell if he really is the kind of politician we don't see all that often - one who does exactly what he says he's going to do - one who's not afraid to say "no" when opposition comes, when the pressure is all around to go another, easier way.

It presents an irony - one that exists as we raise our kids as well. The people want a leader who will clearly define right from wrong - will present absolute values. It makes us feel more secure as a people. But the people aren't very happy when carrying through on those values means that they have to hear the word "no." Facing economic uncertainty, I'm guessing President Obama will have to say "no" alot in the coming days and weeks.

How do your kids feel about the word "no?" How do you as a parent feel about it? The Bible says in Hebrews 12:11 that "no discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way." In other words, kids need absolutes even though they may not realize it while those absolutes are being imposed. This instruction comes with a promise - a peaceful harvest. Not many of our kids are farmers but this peaceful harvest sure sounds like something good for our kids as they become adults and need to figure out the world for themselves - something to help them be successful.

Here's some ideas on how to say "no" successfully to our kids:

1. Listen First - Deny Later - When kids are asking about stuff, try to chose back the often too-ready answer in your head. You should hear them out that your "no" - if that's the answer - comes, not out of irritation or close-mindedndess, but out of a real desire protect your kids and guide them towards good decision-making skills themselves.

2. Be Flexible But Firm - Be firm, with a promise to be flexible as they get older and show that they can be trusted with more responsibility. Plan to have on-going discussions about things like computer usage, dating, curfews and the like to make room for maturity. Saying "yes" to every request may be as dangerous as waving to a toddler while he heads out to the street!

3. Remember - Parents Are Accountable Too! - Parents trying to raise their kids in the Christian faith would do well to view their kids as being "on loan" from God. I consider the raising of my kids as one of the most important things God has given me to do in this world. I can't let peer-pressure or pop-culture pressure do my thinking, or my parenting for me.

This is where River City comes in - what a relief to be part of a church that partners with me in the parenting of my kids! There are any number of adults in the church who are a great influence on my kids. KidCity is helping me figure out how to raise my kids with positive spiritual values and increase the likelihood that they will become healthy, whole adults. And the church community is a place of acceptance, encouragement and support for the times when I need to say "no" to my kids and it's hard.

Kids And Consumption

I used to think that consumption was just a terrible disease from pioneer times - "good ol' Zeke died of consumption last winter". Now that I'm a parent and the director of kid's programs at River City Church, I still feel like consumption is a terrible disease and I worry that we can die from it if we don't figure out a way to treat it!

In this drive-thru-have-it-your-way-right-away-make-no-payments-for-a-year-just-do-it world we live in, our kids are bombarded with messages about what they are entitled to, how much they need stuff, what stuff they need to be cool and that all that stuff spells success. Kids are blasted from every angle with the same message: Buy more, spend more, have more.

Experts say that kids between ages 4 to 12 spend some $9 billion annually and influence their parents to spend $130 billion; teens spend another $95 annually. Games, toys, mp3 players, clothes, skateboards, videogames, computers, cell phones - you name it, they've got it.

Thanks to years of economic boom, today's families have made more money than ever before. And many of us have pampered and indulged our kids more than we experienced as kids ourselves. How can we teach our kids the difference between needs and wants where there is really nothing they don't already have? Is it possible to raise kids successfully when we're surrounded by so much materialism?

In a world that seems to revolve around money, many parents struggle to find a balance between down-to-earth values and the comfortable lifestyles we've grown accustomed to. Feeling like your losing the battle to the disease of consumption? Think about this!

• Be a Role Model - Track your own spending for a month and see how much of your money is going to wants instead of needs. Your kids can learn that having money doesn't necessarily mean you need to spend it.
• Talk About Money - Discuss finances with your kids even before they're too young to understand all the details (I started when my kids were 6!)
• Watch TV With Them - You'll be amazed by how much advertising is directed right at them!
• Shop With Them - Use weekly grocery trips as object lessons about prices, quantity, value and needs.
• Wait For Special Occasions - When your kid just "has to have it" put it on a birthday or Christmas list to develop patience and appreciation.
• Set Limits - Give kids prices you are willing to pay for certain items. If they want something more expensive, let them pay the extra themselves from money they earn from chores or jobs. Then they decide how much they really want that item!
• Give them a little $$$ - Before they go shopping, have them make a list of what they need and want. Help them decide what they can afford with the money you've given.
• Teach Tithing - Encourage kids to give 10% of their allowance or job money to a worthy cause.