The Barack-Attack!

Well, the dust is settling from last week's election in the U.S. and political pundits and coffee-house junkies are all speculating about the popularity of the new president, Barack Obama. Why is he so popular? Why are nations and people around the world celebrating the rise of this leadership star? Why is everyone so hopeful about the future of the US with Barack at the helm?

He seems to be a leader who know what is right for the nation, is committed to doing what's right for the nation and has a style that builds consensus and makes people believe that he has their best interests at heart and in mind. The best we can say right now is, "we'll see." We'll see if Obama can actually do what he says he wants to do. Time will tell.

Time will tell if he really is the kind of politician we don't see all that often - one who does exactly what he says he's going to do - one who's not afraid to say "no" when opposition comes, when the pressure is all around to go another, easier way.

It presents an irony - one that exists as we raise our kids as well. The people want a leader who will clearly define right from wrong - will present absolute values. It makes us feel more secure as a people. But the people aren't very happy when carrying through on those values means that they have to hear the word "no." Facing economic uncertainty, I'm guessing President Obama will have to say "no" alot in the coming days and weeks.

How do your kids feel about the word "no?" How do you as a parent feel about it? The Bible says in Hebrews 12:11 that "no discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way." In other words, kids need absolutes even though they may not realize it while those absolutes are being imposed. This instruction comes with a promise - a peaceful harvest. Not many of our kids are farmers but this peaceful harvest sure sounds like something good for our kids as they become adults and need to figure out the world for themselves - something to help them be successful.

Here's some ideas on how to say "no" successfully to our kids:

1. Listen First - Deny Later - When kids are asking about stuff, try to chose back the often too-ready answer in your head. You should hear them out that your "no" - if that's the answer - comes, not out of irritation or close-mindedndess, but out of a real desire protect your kids and guide them towards good decision-making skills themselves.

2. Be Flexible But Firm - Be firm, with a promise to be flexible as they get older and show that they can be trusted with more responsibility. Plan to have on-going discussions about things like computer usage, dating, curfews and the like to make room for maturity. Saying "yes" to every request may be as dangerous as waving to a toddler while he heads out to the street!

3. Remember - Parents Are Accountable Too! - Parents trying to raise their kids in the Christian faith would do well to view their kids as being "on loan" from God. I consider the raising of my kids as one of the most important things God has given me to do in this world. I can't let peer-pressure or pop-culture pressure do my thinking, or my parenting for me.

This is where River City comes in - what a relief to be part of a church that partners with me in the parenting of my kids! There are any number of adults in the church who are a great influence on my kids. KidCity is helping me figure out how to raise my kids with positive spiritual values and increase the likelihood that they will become healthy, whole adults. And the church community is a place of acceptance, encouragement and support for the times when I need to say "no" to my kids and it's hard.